Staying the course

I see it has been a while since I last posted. Not that there hasn't been anything new to add. More like finding the time has been rather difficult. The past 3 months have included a lot of packing, cleaning, moving, unpacking, cleaning..... The trip from Fort Lauderdale to Oxford was quite the adventure. In May we celebrated 8 years of marriage and in those 8 years we have moved 11 times. That is a lot of moving and now with 3 kids it has gotten harder to accomplish all the tasks involved with moving. I believe this was one of the harder moves as we were moving with 3 small kids across 4 states in 2 days with a caravan of a minivan, small car, and a very large moving truck! All in all, it was a great trip and now here we are.
So this past week has consisted of potty training my sweet 21 month old daughter which is progressing slow and steady. This is my second time with the whole potty training routine and as I should have imagined, much different then the first time around. There really is no need to elaborate as comparing children is like comparing apples to bananas. No two are alike. Despite the temptation, it really is pointless. Im reminding myself that more times than not, this whole mom role is more about me being refined then it is about whatever it is that is going on at the time. For example, potty training. Why would I think that because my first born trained in 3 days, it would be the same this time? I have been tempted to quit a few times now over the course of this week. Comparing my 2 experiences and their differences has challenged me to stay the course. My life would be a lot easier to throw a diaper back on her and carry on but I'm reminded to keep my eye on the big picture.

So you think I'm super-mom?

I can't seem to get away from the terms "super-mom" or "super-woman". Not that I am either, don't get me wrong, but I hear them often from other's. Sometimes directed at me, sometimes directed about other moms. What a fallacy. The idea that I can do it all, all the time, all alone is a feat that is unattainable. I'm usually the first to say that I am no superwoman. I'm not really comfortable with accepting such praise partly because I know the truth. Some days run more smoothly then others as with anything. There are days that I may appear to have it all together, juggling the kids, the home, the responsibilities of the day. But those are the "good" days, and in reality, appearances can be deceiving. I have found that as moms we are often comparing ourselves to the other moms around us. I often hear and know from experience that at times we see ourselves as failing this whole motherhood thing, while all the other moms out there have it all together and are doing a great job. Well, the truth is that we are all the same. There is no perfect mom, as there is no perfect person. This idea that I'm not a good mom is a lie. If you weren't a good mom, you wouldn't care or even think this way in the first place. It is a thought, a feeling, that only tempts you to isolate yourself from others. That isolation then leads to depression, loneliness and hopelessness. There is freedom in knowing that I am not alone. Today was my last MOPS meeting until September. I love MOPS. It has been such a great support group for me as a mom. Not only have I gleaned so much from the other moms I have met but I have been able to share my life with them too. God created us to be in community, to be in fellowship with others. We weren't created to be alone, by ourselves. Some of the women shared how they too love the support they get from being around other moms. One mom said she thought we were all perfect when she first came but now sees that we are just like her:) Another mom shared how she was sitting on the floor of her home one day and just sobbed while nursing her infant, meanwhile her other 2 kids were playing. She was waiting for her husband to come home so she could tell him she was ready to go back to work and he could stay home with the kids! Aren't those just a few of the many thoughts we have all had at one time or another? No matter how different we may be individually, we are all sharing the same struggles and joys as moms.

Sitting on a marker stained glider taking it all in....

So there I was, sitting on a marker stained glider taking it all in. What is all you ask? Well, I'm holding my 6 week old daughter who is screaming her head off from reflux, gas, or maybe just stress. Meanwhile, my other 2 daughters, ages 3 and 17 months are repeating incessantly hold me hold me. All this in a room that looks like a tornado hit it. So I'm thinking to myself, I need to take a picture because surely there are other moms out there right now who could appreciate some transparency. Proof that supermom doesn't exist. I often think of Michelle Duggar and what she did when she had 4 or 5 under 5. Was she as organized and sweet as she appears today? I know she had her moments. I wrote her the other day to see if she had any tips for managing my home with 3 under 3. All I got back was an automated email saying they get too many emails to respond.
It's hard to find any practical, step by step help for mom's of toddlers and infants. There are a lot of people with broad ideas but right now, I need practical examples.
Fast Forward to bath time. Sitting on the toilet watching the girls bathe, desperate house mom comes to mind. I'm a desperate house mom. Desperate that is for God. A mom who is desperate for my saviour to come and intervene in my life, in every situation. You see, in all my searching, I'm usually crying out to God for wisdom. Reminding myself that the bible says, if you lack wisdom, to ask God and He will give it liberally without reproach. So I'm constantly asking for wisdom, for knowledge and for understanding. I realize that my children are gifts from God (psalm 127) and with that comes a great responsibility on my part to take these gifts and give them back to my God. In doing so, He will grant me the grace and mercy to raise them, to train them and to lead them to Him. This is my ministry. This is what He has called me to do. Giving my kids back to the Lord has been fairly easy so far because mothering has been a lot harder than I ever would have thought. I think I put too much pressure on myself. However, these are the thoughts that fuel that pressure: being the person who is with them most of the time I am responsible for their discipline, learning, nutrition, interactions with others, exercise..... and the list goes on.
Back to wisdom. So gleaning from other's is a great way to learn but I'm also learning that listening to that small still voice throughout the chaos of my day is a better, more precise way to learn. Not being able to find what I am looking for has helped me to look to Him who has every answer to every question.